Under The N... 43

There’s something that’s been stuck in my head for a few days now… a thought that I just cannot seem to banish from my consciousness.

The ABC television network… a network with which I used to be professionally associated… announced that it's adding a bingo game to its prime time schedule. Yes, bingo. B-I-N-G-O.

Excuse me? Did I miss something? Exactly when did bingo become the stuff of which prime-time network television is made? Maybe if My Network TV had been the network to announce a weekly prime-time bingo contest, then I wouldn’t be shaking my head with quite the same fervor. But ABC? The network of quality, cutting-edge fare such as Lost and Desperate Housewives? The network that once gave us classics such as Barney Miller, The Wonder Years, Batman, Soap and NYPD Blue? The American Broadcasting Company?? THIS is the network which is now resorting to a prime-time telecast of something called National Bingo Night?

On one hand, maybe we should give ABC credit for attempting to program Friday nights with original fare. For several months now, the alphabet network has been meeting with producers, in search of low-cost, unscripted programming which could run on “the two nights of the week that HUT levels forgot” (those nights being Friday and Saturday).

On the other hand, however, the reality is that bingo is not the answer to ABC's prime-time woes. Come on - is a live bingo game REALLY better than reruns of Grey's Anatomy? Is bingo – long the domain of church basements and Indian-gaming reserves – really ready for prime time? Is it ready for television at all?

A bingo game would seem to hearken back to television’s earliest days, when innocent fare ruled the airwaves. And while these days it seems that everything old is new again (Ted Mack's Original Amateur Hour lives on in the present-day incarnation of American Idol, and precious few shows on ABC are more popular than its ballroom-dancing showcase Dancing with the Stars… and we haven’t seen much TV dancing since American Bandstand and Dance Fever), as far as television is concerned, bingo is not new, and it's not old; it's simply a "never was"… and I think that it needs to stay that way.

I implore you, ABC - please leave my prime-time television free from the bingo cards and markers. If you need a bingo fix that badly, then I'll be happy to give you directions to Foxwoods. In fact, your first card is on me.

A Moving Target

I'm a Warwick boy. I've been here for a long time, and I plan to be here for a long time to come. I love it here. If you know me in "real life," then you know that I know the city inside and out... its people, its places, its players. "Warwick Boy" is one-half of my dual-identity status (the other half being "TV Boy," of course!).

As a by-product of my Warwick Boy status, I seem to have gained a reputation as a go-to guy for people who want to know what's going on in the city of Warwick. Among the more frequent questions I've been receiving as of late have been "when are they going to start the airport runway expansion?"... "when will the new Apponaug bypass road be finished"... and "what's going to move into the old Macy's at the Warwick Mall?"

Well, it took me a while to get to the bottom of the latter question, but at long last I have the secret details surrounding changes coming to the Warwick Mall. Be warned that I'm now shifting into "spoiler boy" mode, so if you'd rather be surprised and wait for the official announcement, then stop reading right here. Otherwise, read on:

Get ready for a major redevelopment at Warwick Mall.

The big news is that Warwick Mall has scored a coup by luring America's hip, trendy discounter, Target, to its property. What's this, you ask? Doesn't Target already have a store in Warwick... right there on route 2, about three miles from the mall? Well, the inside word is that Target will be relocating from its current site high-atop Bald Hill Road (a/k/a route 2) to the mall. Major score for Warwick Mall.

The catalyst for this redevelopment occurred in 2006 when Macy's moved from its long-time anchor spot at the south end of the mall to the former Filene's building, as part of the Federated Department Stores takeover of the May Company stores.

The former Macy's (which began life in 1972 as Jordan Marsh) will actually become several stores. As the plan exists today, Target will occupy the first floor of a vastly-renovated Macy's building.

Also as part of the mall redevelopment... one other route 2 retailer will be relocating to the mall. The Sports Authority, currently located about 4 miles south of Warwick Mall on route 2, next to Sam's Club (near the intersection of routes 2 and 117), will move into the extreme-makeover Macy's building, most likely on the second floor.

This renovation will also include new access points for the upper floors of the former Macy's building.

And now, from the "but wait, there's more" category: in addition to the renovation of the former Macy's property, Warwick Mall will be ADDING new retail space... about 100,000 square feet of new retail space. Known in the retail industry as "lifestyle" retail, it will likely be referred to by Warwick Mall as a "main street" development It'll be called this because most of the space will exist OUTSIDE of the mall, connected by sidewalk-style walkways designed to invoke the feeling of a good old-fashioned, downtown-style "main street." The "main street" shops would extend along the immediate outside of the existing mall building; for example, on the eastern side the new space would start at the former Macy's building and run down at least to the entrance of Old Navy. As for what would live in this new space, expect a mix of national retailers and restaurants to populate the new Warwick Mall main street.

As for when to expect all of these changes... the mall management would love to have the new Target and Sports Authority stores open this fall, but that's highly unlikely. Both the newly-renovated Macy's property and the new "main street" would likely open for business sometime in 2008.

And now, with the Warwick news out of the way, please allow me to shift out of "Warwick Boy" mode and shift into "TV Boy" mode; after all, it's almost time for tonight's episode of The Surreal Life Fame Games. Yeah, Warwick Boy may live here, but I guess that it's TV Boy who really calls the shots.